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  • Preparing for Capture CD
    Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Cd includes 2 bonus tracks

    Includes unlimited streaming of Preparing for Capture via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

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lyrics

She was ten to twelve, hell immersed. She burst into tears when pops popped moms daily. Daily operation of defensive mechanics left her trust issues in the forefront, now she’s twenty simply timid to love. Above all she wanted to feel. She was haunted by memory reels of the bloody noses her mom rocked to sleep. Her self-esteem was a mountain too steep to climb so at times she’d sniff lines to leave he mind and find safety. She had nothing to stand for so she fell for everything voluntarily while longing to lead a life worth cherishing.

This lead to one night of binging with alcohol, cigarettes, ex, coke and weed smoke which caused her to feel so empty. But the multitudes of men manipulated her melancholy. The only thing she felt the only thing she could control was her body. Her innocence was lost at 14, she left home at 16 with the clothes on her back and a duffel bag of shattered dreams. She camouflaged her screams with eyeliner and empty smiles, while the sunbeams beamed with a brilliance that was seen for miles. She needed someone to care but no one was there. Her best friends were Jack Daniels and a ragged childhood teddy bear companion. She floated on a sea of promise that trickled down the drain untill she crossed paths with a man who actually asked for her name. The sincerity in his eyes was a disguise that she was blinded by and for the first time she wanted to trust and didn’t know why.


The next few weeks she couldn’t believe,
because out of nowhere her Knight in shining armor
galloped by on his noble steed. He showered her with hugs and unconditional love plus he had access to all the drugs she’d need. He gave her a sense of security and purpose and for the first time in her life she didn’t feel worthless. He was her savior, thorn crown and all.
Now she soars above clouds with no plans to fall.

His rep preceded every step he took because he was a hustler by nature, believe me whatever your taste he had the flavor. Weeks turned to months and with that
sniffed lines turned to needle tracks. The soft words turned to hard slaps and the memory reels played back.
Now she rock’s to sleep bloody noses and black eyes
crying why, shot lies in her veins to stay high. She tried to run from the past the futures destined to be; now she’s a battered junkie with no hope at 23. She didn’t care how hard he hit because she was convinced that that love was rough. Plus he showed his love when he tied her off to shoot up. She’d been trained that love was pain from childhood. She had her father to thank for the holding tank in which she now stood. With no room to breathe she OD’d clutching her teddy bear, the funeral was small only her mother and minister were there. Mom came home to pops drunk and passed out and with tears in her eyes she smothered him with a pillow that covered his mouth

credits

from Preparing for Capture, released June 5, 2012

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Illogic Columbus, Ohio

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